I'll take 'Chill the hell out' for $400, Alex
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” ~Dale Carnegie
Before the incident with Lauren Narckiwiez wherein she stole my seat on the bus and so I hit her on the head with a poster, I was pretty much an easy going person who wanted to be a people pleaser and have everyone love and adore me, because I was needy. I was desperate to be around people at an alarming rate and because I wanted everyone to like me I had no selection process of who I would let into my life and so it was a giant clusterfuck like free for all. Of that four year period, I enjoyed approximately four months.
Being perfectly content to be alone with a bottle of wine and selections from the Trader Joe’s frozen food aisle and the internet, is not necessarily a bad thing. I leave the house and socialize and then retreat back into my hibernating state for a few days, rinse and repeat. Throw in my aversion for actual conversation unless accompanied by a glass of wine and really I have no business being a full functioning adult and really would be better off alone. Then again that couldn’t possibly work, I can’t spend the next 60 years being a true to form misanthrope, so I practice being a good conversationalist.
While most people need not take Simple Conversation 101, I do. I just find it difficult to convey things sometimes; thoughts, feelings, whatever. Everything that comes out usually makes me seem an inept loser who should be shot or something and 99% of the time anything that I might want to say or convey, needs to be thought about over and over and over again and sprinkled with sincerity so that I don’t come off as a flaming narcissistic bitch. It’s work, to say the least and what it all boils down to, is that I need to get a fucking grip.
It’s not like this is some huge epiphany and a light bulb went off and I had my ‘Aha!’ moment, it’s just that the average person can handle basic conversation without ending up with a noticeable tick and the average person can easily give and receive compliments without yelling or going into dramatic hyperbole and hysterics and/or analyzing every other word. And at some point I’ll be able to go an entire week without the dire need to discuss in detail and ad nauseum the ways in which I am socially awkward. That last bit would be my holiday gift to you.
Labels: gruyere with that wine